One of the advantages of aging is you get closer to your subconscious. You know what is going on in that head of yours... and why you are behaving the way you do.
It all happened on my wedding day. I was dressed in a lovely red saree, had a professional do may make and hair.. and yeah, for once I thought I looked pretty. I was in a group of a few women who seemed extremely proud of my professional achievements. Just then out of nowhere, a lady promptly said, “Yeah everything is fine, except that she is so fat.” Now, I have been fat practically all my life, and have lived with nicknames such as fatty, fatso, moti etc. Once when I was about 14 years of age and walking down the garden with my friends, a passer-by actually muttered, “ae roadroller” in my ear. He surely thought he was being funny.
But to be called fat on your wedding day, is something I wasn’t expecting. I chose to ignore that comment, out of decency. While I held back that hint of a tear, suddenly my whole life fell into place. I realised why I dressed in such shabby clothes, why I asked all my boyfriends if they found me beautiful (and the reason why most of them never answered), why I shied from going to the tailor.. and why I was so nervous in social situations..
For others life may be a four letter word, but for me, there are just three F A T! Anyways, back to my wedding day.. and every day since then, I have been hugely conscious of my low self esteem, and the reasons for it. Have made conscious attempts to accept myself the way I am.. and love my body. Have proved time and again, that it’s the mind and the heart that matter, not the vital stats. But even today, some people think it’s funny if they call me fat. And its okay if people make joke of your weight… and it’s fine if they keep advising you on how you shud shape up.. even when you haven’t asked for the gyan. Worse still, someone recently told me that these people have the ‘right’ to tell you all these things, because they are your family.
Now, to cut short the ranting, here are some thoughts coming from a fat girl, addressed to the rest of the world…
1) We are living in a highly prejudiced society। And I think all of the above is basically prejudice. If we wont call someone black or white, or a Sikh or a Paki… why do we call someone fat? Isn’t this discrimination?
2) If you really care for someone, won’t you say things that make the person feel happy? Why would you point of their flaws and make them feel miserable about themselves? (It is different is you are sitting alone with person, and genuinely giving advice on how he needs to be healthier. To call a person fat in front of others is just a cheap thrill)
3) There is a difference in laughing with someone and laughing at someone. Why doesn’t anyone get this?
4) Why are fat people expected to take these comments as ‘funny’… and get used to them?
5) People are not fat by choice. Most of them have tried various methods of losing weight but haven’t succeeded. Have some compassion and humanity for God’s sake!
6) Think of all the religious books, of all the Gods… did any of them teach you to discriminate on the basis of the body? No.. it’s always the soul that counts, not the body. Then why focus so much on it?
7) When you make fat jokes, remember, you just become a smaller person.
8) If you see a fat person hurt bcos of the so called, 'lighthearted comments', don’t tell him that he is overreacting or being Mr. Sensitive. Put yourself in his shoes… and yu wud know..
9) To end the rant… if you see someone being discriminated against, stand up for them… don’t leave them alone. Trust me.. it’s really lonely to be fat.
(NOTE to all the family members... if yu don't remember being mean to me.. then you probably weren't... so do not assume that i'm addressing you. Love and peace.... :)
